The Angel of Death has been hovering near today – near my dear friend and student Martita Vindiola. What a gift it has been to feel Marta so strongly, so close by when for the past few years we have only been in touch sporadically.
Today, I received a call saying that this would be Marta’s last day on this planet. Although I knew Marta had cancer, I was shocked. The last few reports and photos I had seen of Marta showed her vital, alive, eyes burning bright.
My many years of sitting with Marta and our Dreaming group had altered my perception of death. While those of us left behind on Earth may feel justifiably sad, the transition and journey to the next phase – whatever, wherever, however – is a joyous event. Returning to spirit. Going home. Being free to merge with source.
The Dreamers in Marta’s beloved Teotihuacan, Mexico
Tears fell today as I remembered Marta’s smile and laugh. Her passion for tango. Her love for her son and granddaughter. Her wisdom, gentleness, fearlessness. Her sweetly accented English. Her beauty and grace. The healing work that we had done together.
Marta smiling in middle
I closed my eyes and opened my heart. Light and love surrounded Marta. I could feel our connection as I urged her to fly. Be free.
As I made some calls to other friends and students, there were more tears. But also more love. I sat in silence and in memory with people who I had not spoken with in years. We communicated our love for her – and for each other in the few short minutes that we spoke. I felt the timelessness of our connection and a huge gratitude that each of these beings had been – and still were part of my life.
And isn’t that how the Angel of Death often works?
In the awareness of her presence, life takes on preciousness. Funerals and memorials are bittersweet as they bring families and friends together when we might not otherwise make the effort. The Angel of Death takes away and makes room for new experiences, new sensations, new humans, new possessions.
Today, in honor of Marta, and all the other humans who are no longer walking among us, let’s use this moment as a gift. Turn to your husband, your wife, your partner and express how much you love and appreciate them. Squeeze your child extra long. Forgive your parents for annoying you. Call a friend and tell her how much she means to you. Accept yourself just as you are.
The Angel of Death walks among us. She does not need to be feared, but respected. She takes the baby who wails in the middle of the night when we feel desperate for sleep and replaces him with a little boy who throws a tantrum when his mama is on the phone. She takes that little boy and gives you a teen who hardly wants to sit in the same room with you. The teen becomes a young adult who is away at college, onto a house and family of their own. She teaches us to love the baby, the little boy, the teen, the adult for they are here in our lives for such a short amount of time.
Life is constantly changing. Our small minds find so many reasons to not appreciate or enjoy whatever stage of life we are in now.
Today, Marta, we stop, even if it’s only for a moment – and love, live, appreciate, revel in what is. We are alive, living a joyous, messy, sometimes painful existence. And we are grateful.
Vaya con dios angel Martita. Te quiero mucho.
Your teacher, friend, and commadre,