“If I had a dollar for every tear you’ve cried, we’d be millionaires,” Shaman Guy chuckles as he wraps his arm around me in a big bear hug.
Yep, there have been lots of tears lately. And this is good.
I feel deeply and in launching a new phase of Shaman Girl as a business, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed. All the doubts have been rising to the surface. And my fear of failing (as well as wildly succeeding) are in my face.
So it is perfect – and ironic – that I offered my first-out-of-this-universe Lightning Bolt Coaching Session this week with an ecstatically happy client while the inside of my head sounds something like this (edited so this blog isn’t 10 pages long):
‘’How can I be successful when it feels like my business takes backseat to being a mom, a wife, and to Shaman Guy’s business?… What’s my message?… How come I’m not where she is? [insert major, successful internet coach who has been doing this for years here]… How can I be a teacher-coach-role model when I feel like a hot mess every 3rd day and always on Mondays?”
Anyone relate? So many of us have been taking risks and gaining clarity on what our true nature and purpose are. We’ve been stretching and saying “yes” to new jobs and new projects and saying “no” to lapsing back into old stories and old habits – only to find the fear and doubt and overwhelm bubbling up again.
The doubts are loud. And yet underneath all this disturbance, there is no doubt. I know I have a unique gift to offer, as you do. I can see my potential as I can see the wild potential of all my friends and clients. I will figure it out and I will manifest my dreams… as soon as I, well, figure it all out.
Plenty of us on a spiritual path are great seers – and this is a double-edged sword. We can easily envision a business that makes more money. Or being a more mindful mama. Or we desire more intimacy in our relationships. Then we beat ourselves up for the business now being “there” right NOW. We judge ourselves harshly when we’re distracted and snapping at our kids. We feel stressed about having no time for more intimacy. It’s the perfect set-up – the spiritual seekers trap. We want more and say we’re on a path to be more loving… and we ratchet the expectations of ourselves so high that we invite in judgment. We forget to be loving and gentle and accepting of ourselves as we journey along this path.
Just to spice it up a bit, my recovering overachiever also jumped into the fray. I’m used to doing whatever I tackle extremely well. I give everything 100%. Yet my life, like so many of ours, is multi-faceted. My 5 year old is in school 3 half-days a week. I have to be able to flow between business and mothering and dinner-making and travelling between houses even when I just want to put my head down and focus.
And then there’s this… I’m coming out of a decade of inward-hibernation. Not that I haven’t done a heck of a lot in mama-ing and supporting. My focus has mostly been on home and on nurturing my spiritual self and now I’m jumping into outward creation and business-building. I feel like a bear whose coming out of her den in the springtime and the light! and the bird chatter!!! and squirrel movement !and gusty wind! and flowing river! are a bit much. Jarring. Blinding. But springtime it is.
What about you? Big dreams creating big expectations? Full life? Transitioning through a life or energy change?
Here’s what I’ve been reminding myself as I navigate through the overwhelm and doubt:
- You are a big dreamer. Yes, you are powerful and can create anything you dream. But you’re also human. It’s okay. You are human. [That’s your tweetable sentence for today!] With human doubts and fears and a human body that gets tired or sick or stressed. Having grandiose expectations that you’re a lofty spiritual being who should be so aware and infallible is not helpful. You’re human. And it’s okay.
- Go ahead. Cry. Let all the doubt and judgment and fear pour on out. – it’s just energy moving through. As these doubts come into the light, their energy will no longer hold you back. You’ll be able to shine if you accept and love yourself for how you are, right now, in this phase of life.
- Be gentle. Give yourself a break. If you are sick, rest. If you are tired, sleep. If you are stressed, take a bath or get a massage. Remember to meditate. Be present with your family. Enjoy life and this process.
- And for Christ’s sake, stop comparing yourself to the top of the mountain. Start where you are. Take action every day. Just one action. Do what you can and you’ll manifest what you so desire.
- Ask for help. Really, you don’t need to do this alone. Use a coach. Talk with your husband, your girlfriends. Take a class on the internet. Find a sympathetic, supportive shoulder and ear.
You are a star. A bright, shining star. Your brilliance is breath-taking. Even if it feels a little muddled right now. You are not alone. We’re going to move through the fear together. We can – and will – figure it out, with our smarts and our hearts and souls.
Rarrrr! I’m rubbing the sleepies out of my eyes, stretching my bear paws to the sky, and lumbering off in search of the honey. It’s all good, Shaman Girls. It’s all good.
A big bear hug,
P.S. Don’t forget to watch the video. Then, repeat after me. I’m human. And it’s okay.