Cold dark water takes my breath away. I’m clutching the deck of a boat, grasping on, afraid to push off and let go. What lurks in the water? I don’t know and my mind can certainly invent some sea monsters.
I scrunch my eyes closed and push off, feeling my breath catch. The waves rise and fall. The turbulence fuels my fear. I remind myself to breathe, breathe.
Then I dive below the water. So quiet and still. There is no push or pull from the wind or waves. Below the surface is a beautiful world of fish and color.
I can’t believe I was so afraid! Instant elation, relief, jubilance. I do a flip to celebrate.
My life over the past few weeks has felt like this scuba-diving experience 15 years ago.
I’ve felt constricted, tight. Doubt and fear keep creeping in. I’m holding onto my idea of who I was. I’m clutching at my old way of doing. Being organized, efficient. Accomplishing, being busy. Trying so hard. Playing small.
The depths have been calling me. It’s time to be in the flow. To just be. To do what brings me pleasure. To have faith that life supports me; that it will all work out. To trust that exactly the right people will appear.
When I let go, I watch the judgments being swept away in the current. I’m different and that’s not okay. Gone. If I keep going down this path, I’ll be lumped in with all the “woo-woo.” Released. That I must work hard, that how my creations are received by others determines my worth. Bye-bye.
I’m navigating life in a whole new way. By feeling. By intuition. By inner vision, energy, allowing, taking care of myself deeply. I’m feeling a liberating sense of freedom.
Enjoy who you are and what you do. Let all your creations be an expression of YOU, unique, authentic, wonderful YOU. This is your gift. Share your light, your joy with your loved ones, with those around you. Don’t worry if they “get” you or not. Be that consciousness. Be aware of how much each person can absorb but don’t alter who you are for their sake.
Go ahead. Jump in. Let go.
The water’s perfect.