Get Started: Week 5!
- Watch Week 5 Video: Say Good Bye to Your Good Friend
- Complete the Time In Audio Exercise: Farewell, Friend
- Do your Homework: Friendly Chat
- Bonus! Burn, Baby, Burn Audio Exercise
- Answer the question posted on the Tame the Doubt Demon Facebook Group and leave a comment or question if you’d like.
Say Goodbye to Your Good Friend
Why, oh, why am I wearing that silly hat for this ecourse? Well besides the fact that I like to bring humor to the process of transformation, which can feel a bit heavy at times, I’m wearing it because that’s how I picture my Doubt Demon. Her name is DeeDee and at first glance she appears to be a monster. But if you look a little closer, she’s really fuzzy, with funny eyeballs, and goofy teeth.
I know when I fall into the Doubt Demon’s clutches, I can feel completely consumed by the stuck and small and frustrated feelings. I’m “in it.” I can’t separate myself from my thoughts and emotions.
Yet when I can picture DeeDee as a part of myself (not my entire being), then she becomes a little more manageable. By visualizing what she looks like, I can more easily interact with her than a wispy thought or nameless emotion. I can create a relationship with her.
The relationship I choose to have with DeeDee is a friendly one. So let me ask you, how do you treat your friends? I hope you are there for them – you listen when they need to talk. You’re sympathetic to their troubles. You’re grateful that they are part of your life.
Well, that’s the same attitude I’d invite you to have with your Doubt Demon. You are friendly. You agree to be present, to listen, and to be grateful for her (or him).
Yet what do we usually do when the Doubt Demon appears? We wish it would go away. We pretend it isn’t there. We want to fix it.
Can you imagine if you treated a new friend that way? Hi, nice to meet you. Go away. Or… (looking past them as they stand in front of you as if they aren’t there as they confide a problem). Or… Hey! What’s going on? Well, I can fix you right up!
Ah, yeah. I don’t think your new friend would appreciate your friendship very much and they wouldn’t be very likely to trust you or want to share their innermost feelings with you. Same goes for your Doubt Demon. We need to treat it as we would want to treat a cherished friend for it to be willing to share its problems and overcome them in a gentle, loving manner.
Now obviously we don’t want the Doubt Demon to stick around forever.
What I’ve noticed is that DeeDee might seem big and overwhelming at first, but when I take the time and play attention to her, she’s really not so fierce at all. In fact, she’s loveable since she’s doing her best to pass on through me so that I can create my bigger vision of myself and my life. She’s the best kind of friend. She shows up when I need to look at an old belief or doubt and she’s willing to move on and make space for more light, happiness, and possibility once I’ve acknowledged her and thanked her for doing her job.
Haven’t you had a relationship like that? Perhaps a romantic one or a friendship? You came together, learned a lot, then parted ways when you outgrew each other. Wouldn’t it have been nice if you were able to part ways with love and appreciation? (If you did in your past relationship that you outgrew, kudos to you!) This is our plan for your Doubt Demon. Make friendly, then say farewell. Ready?
Time In: Farewell, Friend
(To play or pause, click to the far left.)
1. Get comfy. Close your eyes. Connect to your breath. Imagine yourself in a safe place – somewhere in nature or a favorite location.
2. Ask for a guide to be present. This could be a wiser version of yourself, an animal, or an energy being. Thank your guide for coming.
3. Ask your guide to take you to see your Doubt Demon. Where does it live? What does it look like? Is it a creature? An animal? A ball of energy? An object from nature? Clearly see your Doubt Demon.
4. With your guide by your side, have a heart to heart conversation with your Doubt Demon. Ask your Doubt Demon if it has a message for you. You are willing to listen and be present with it. What does your Doubt Demon need to say to you?
5. After allowing your Doubt Demon to express itself, thank it. Tell your Doubt Demon that you appreciate it being in your life. It’s served its purpose and now you are ready to release it. Embrace your Doubt Demon in a hug. Say farewell.
6. Return to your safe space. Thank your guide for being present with you.
7. When you are ready, open your eyes. Write down what your Doubt Demon looked like and any messages it had for you.
Homework: Friendly Chat
Now it’s time for a check-in. Be honest with yourself:
- Are you ready to say goodbye to your Doubt Demon for good?
If yes, go to the Burn, Baby, Burn Bonus below.
2. Do you need some time relating to your Doubt Demon as a friend?
If yes, do the Friendly Chat exercise below and then come back to the Burn, Baby, Burn exercise when you feel ready.
Invite your Doubt Demon over for a cup of tea or coffee. Make this a daily get together. Picture sitting down with it (you do have an image of what it looks like after doing the Farewell Friend Time In above, right?) Ask it to confide its doubts, worries, and fears with you. Listen. Be present. Don’t try to argue with it or try to justify why its feelings aren’t valid. When it’s done talking, thank it. Embrace it in a hug and say farewell. Keep repeating this homework until you feel ready to move onto Burn, Baby, Burn Bonus below.
Bonus! Burn, Baby, Burn
(To play or pause, click to the far left.)
We have one more piece of spring cleaning to do: a Fire Ceremony. Ceremonies are a powerful tool because they open a doorway between your higher self and your everyday world. In this ceremony, we’ll be saying goodbye to the Doubt Demon so we can move onto to creating an action plan. Once our Doubt Demon has been released, then we free up our energy to create what we so desire in our lives and our businesses.
For this exercise, you’ll need fire, paper and pen. A fireplace or fire pit is ideal, but a candle and metal pot works too. Make sure you are safe and use common sense around fire!
1. Write a letter to your Doubt Demon as if you will never see it again. Express your gratitude and also make sure you say everything you need to say so you’ll have no regrets. How has your Doubt Demon served you? How has it frustrated you? Why are your grateful for it?
2. When you are done with the letter, burn it. Sit or stand with your feet firmly planted on the ground and your heart open. (If you don’t have a way to safely burn the letter, then tear it to shreds and symbolically offer it to the candle.) Throw your letter into the fire with all your love and intent. Use a deep whooshing breath too. Now watch it burn, baby, burn. Do a little jig in celebration. It is done!
Did you do it? You put the time in to reading the exercises but it only works by doing it. Go!
See you next week for our final class!
Go on to Week 6 —>