Get Started: Week 4!
- Watch Week 4 Video: New Trick for Your Medicine Bag
- Complete the Time In Audio Exercise: 90 Second Pity Party
- Do your Homework: Feelin’ Good
- Bonus! Teleclass Recording
- Answer the question posted on the Tame the Doubt Demon Facebook Group and leave a comment or question if you’d like.
New Trick for Your Medicine Bag
By now I’m hoping that you’ve become a little friendlier with your Doubt Demon and realize that it’s presence in your life is a positive sign that you are growing and creating your Big Dream.
And I know that with this reframe, you’re doing cartwheels and backflips every time your Doubt Demon shows up, right?
Er… probably not, in all honesty. Why not? Because you are human. And we humans generally don’t enjoy feeling unsure or uncomfortable. Remember our old, ineffective responses from Week 1? Fight, flight, or freeze? Those are all ways to try to get away, avoid, or resist the uncomfortable feelings that come up when we experience doubt or fear.
We’ve all heard the saying, “What we resist, persists,” and this is especially true for doubt. The more we try to push away doubt, the more it’s going to push back at us. Most of us don’t enjoy feelings stuck, unsure, overwhelmed, frustrated, or insert your least favorite uncomfortable emotion here, so we subconsciously try to push this emotion away. This can look like grabbing a pint of ice cream to numb out, keeping ourselves way too busy, snapping at those around us, or not wanting to get out of bed. We want to avoid, instead of a new option: feel.
When we accept and allow how we are feeling, we empower that emotion to move through us instead of keeping it locked inside or lurking about. Feeling clears and cleans the doubt and fear out of our system. Feeling is a new evolutionary response instead of fighting, fleeing or freezing.
When we bring a gentle, acceptance to “this is how I’m feeling right now,” without trying to change it, we create the time and space for our feelings to just be. Instead of judging the doubt or sensation as “bad,” we embrace it with our breath. Ahhh… imagine how much energy you could save if you weren’t judging and resisting what you feel all the time!
If you’re a little wary about feeling the discomfort, science is now telling us that it only takes 90 seconds to allow an intense emotion to discharge. Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a Harvard-trained brain scientist and author of Stroke of Insight, realized after suffering from a stroke and recovering that now it only takes 90 seconds for her to have an emotional circuit triggered, flush a physiological response through her body and then clear it completely out of her – provided she doesn’t keep telling herself the same doubt over and over again. Same is true of the uplifting emotions. It’s hard to sustain a belly laugh for more than 90 seconds. While our minds might kick and scream at the idea of experiencing emotional discomfort, it can be over in a measly minute and a half.
I wish I knew this fact when I moved back East as a newlywed! When I hibernated that first winter, I resisted my doubts and fears for months. Then one day I realized the futility in this and decided to have a Pity Party for myself. I sat myself down, invited each and every doubt, fear, opinion, judgment about myself to speak up – and then I sat and breathed through the feelings it brought up. I felt immensely and immediately better – and this was the turning point in my process. You don’t need to suffer like I did. Here’s the easy route.
Time In: 90 Second Pity Party
(To play or pause, click to the far left.)
Feeling the doubt for 90 seconds will clear and release it through your body. You can do this – you only need to feel each doubt for a minute and a half. But here’s what makes this work – you can only focus on how one doubt makes you feel. You look at them one at a time. Give each doubt it’s due. 90 seconds of your full attention. Our doubts and fears simply want our attention and acceptance instead of judgment and avoidance.
1. Go back to the doubts you wrote down in The Doubt Dump exercise. Say the first one that really grabs you to yourself.
2. Let yourself feel all the pity or discomfort that comes up with this doubt. Feel like a failure. Feel the frustration. Let all the Doubt Demon really go wild.
3. This is the most important step. If you want to, set a stopwatch for 90 seconds – otherwise just go by what feels right. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Scan your body. Check to see where it feels tight or constricted – your throat? Chest? Belly? Shoulders?
4. Breathe into this area. For 90 seconds, give your full attention to feeling and breathing. Bring your breath up to the uncomfortable sensation and simply meet it with gentleness and curiosity. You can gently say to yourself, “This will pass. It’s okay.” If it feels too intense, just exhale, relax, and tiptoe up to the sensation again.
5. Most people feel a release or relief or an easing of the discomfort after 90 seconds. Keep breathing and feeling. Don’t move on to a new doubt until you have fully sat with the first one.
6. Okay, good. Now move onto the next doubt and repeat until you’ve sat with all the doubts that have been up for you for 90 seconds each.
7. When you’re done, go easy on yourself. Give yourself a few minutes to come back into the room, breathing normally. How do you feel now?
Wow. That was a big step. Good for you.
Remember: how you respond to the inevitable doubt that arises from your desire to create your Big Dream will determine how you feel and how quickly you move through it. It’s your response to the doubt that’s the key. You can fight it, flight away from it, freeze – or you can practice your new trick – feel.
Homework: Feelin’ Good
Hopefully you now see that not only is doubt good, but feeling (“good” or “bad”) is actually good too. Accepting and acknowledging how you feel allows emotional energy to move through you. This week whenever a strong emotion comes up – whether it’s connected to the Doubt Demon or not, make the time and space to feel. Scan your body. Breathe into the tight, constricted spaces. Bring your breath to meet the sensation. Notice how you feel after several minutes of paying attention and breathing with what you feel.
And guess what? You can do this with pleasant, uplifting sensations too!
Bonus! Teleclass Recording
If you missed the teleclass that was exclusively for ecourse participants (or can’t wait to hear it again!), here’s the recording. I give a “Cheat Sheet” overview of the first three weeks, then answer questions on how to go deep into taming your doubt demon and manifesting your Big Dream!
Go on to Week 5 —>